Being Content in the Process

Currently

Today I just wanted to jump on here and write a little bit about some of our house progress, and how I've been feeling lately.

It's been eight and a half months since we bought our house and moved into the 5th wheel, and man does it seem like it's been forever! I have gone through different stages throughout the process, where sometimes it feels like things couldn't crawl any slower, and I'm going crazy wanting to be done, and other times where I'm good and excited about the process.

I haven't been able to pin point exactly what does it to make me move from one side to the other, but I've been back and forth a few times now haha. Right now I'm back in my, "I'm going stir crazy and I can't be in this trailer another day," moods.

This time I feel like it's the looming holidays that brought it about. Decorating for fall and Christmas are some of my favorite things to do, and originally I was really hoping we would be in the house by Christmas. Well, remodels rarely go according to plan (and I knew that) so we're looking at being in maybe in February? I'm hoping!

So I sit here in my camper and get discontent because all I want is to be in my house already. I miss having a full kitchen with more than a foot of counter space. I miss having a dishwasher. Heck, I miss having my dishes! I packed most of them away, and only kept the bare essentials, because when we moved we weren't expecting it to take this long. I actually miss being able to really cook and I'm so looking forward to having a full kitchen again.

I miss having a real bathroom, and space to spread out. And a front yard that isn't half trash pile/half construction mess. It seems like we're in that stage where everything is close enough that we can see it coming together and still so far away from being done.


But, I have to remind myself that I wanted this (so badly!) and it will all be worth it. One year of not getting to decorate much for the holidays, the pink camper carpet that I can't keep clean to save my life, and all of the hard work will pay off and it will barely be a blip in the radar years from now.

And I know we're super fortunate to get to do this. I'm sure there are tons of people out there who would love to have this opportunity! Plus, being discontent isn't going to make things go any faster, so I'm going to try to suck it up and be happy in this stage, even though it's hard.

And writing this has helped. Sometimes just getting it out is a relief, and if you have any tips or tricks for being content, send them my way! Maybe I just need to get focused and work harder on the house so we'll be in it that much sooner. Plus, that's less time I'm sitting in my trailer, right? ;)

As far as house progress goes, we have actually been getting quite a bit done lately! We are currently waiting on our roof to be installed, and we're starting to get back to inside projects. Dane worked on and mostly finished our front entry (at least for now) and his dad helped us out a ton by raising the ceilings in the old part of the house!



My priming and painting kind of hit a stand still because I got the flu, and now that I'm better the rains are starting! But this weekend looks like we will get a break, so I'm hoping to keep working on it then. And this week Dane has started working on electrical and we should be installing windows soon too!

So even though it's going to be a winter in a 5th wheel, things are trucking along and I'm really so excited about the way it's coming together :)

Thanks for stopping by and listening to my boo-boos! Now I'm off to work on something productive. Happy Wednesday!

Coming Down Post Holidays

Christmas

I don't know about you, but that holiday season was a doozy!

It was fun and all, but quite a bit more stress than I wanted to deal with. Normally I don't get so stressed about Christmas presents and such, but this year I got this wild hair and decided that I was going to make all of my gifts instead of just buying them.

I don't recommend it!

Not that it turned out too badly, but I didn't enjoy the restriction I put on myself to have everything be homemade. (Except for the men in my life: Dane, my dad, and f-i-l all got purchased gifts, because men are hard to make for!)

Basically, it just meant that I had way more on my plate than anticipated, and that made other creative areas suffer, like this blog. I had intended on doing a write up of my gifts before Christmas, but I never had the time to! I didn't even get any good photos taken.

So instead, here's a list of links to some of the gifts I made, and a couple bad phone photos to go along!

  • For my sisters I made some yummy little solid perfumes using this tutorial from A Beautiful Mess. I loved how they turned out, but working for an hour with strong essential oils (and then spilling some on myself) meant that I got tired of the smell pretty quickly!
  • One of my sisters and all of my nieces got these adorable little sock owls! They were probably the most work of all my gifts, but they were still my favorite. I also made my honorary nephew a sock monkey from the same website!
  • My actual nephew is at that difficult age in between child and teenager, and that makes gift buying so hard! I saw this travel sign on pinterest, and made my own version using cardboard letters from Joanne's and a vintage looking map from target. It worked pretty well, and it goes with the globe he got a couple months ago for his birthday. 
  • Then I made a coffee sugar scrub, based on this recipe for my mom, m-i-l, and s-i-l. I just left out the orange essential oils, and used a combination of grape seed and coconut oils. 

Everything else I made was of my own design, like some calligraphy prints for the ones who got the sugar scrub, and knitted headband/ear warmers for my sisters. 

And the only photos I took were of the little sock critters, so please excuse the bad lighting. They weren't intended for this use, haha!



With all of my gifts, trying to create new content for my shop and blog, and going out of town twice
for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, it seemed like everything suffered, and nothing got enough attention from me. 

I think next year I'll just buy everything in one shot on black Friday and be done with it ;)

How did your holiday season go? Did everything go smoothly, or did you have to sleep for a week after just to bounce back, like me? 

Also, it's Friday! Woop! 

Have a great weekend everyone!

Oh My-LANTA!

Blogging
It has just been one of those days!

Well, at least part of the day anyway.

You know that major change to the blog I was talking about the other day? Well, things have been slowly trucking in the right direction, but I've hit a bit of a roadblock!

Now, I'm not spilling the beans just yet. There will be a big reveal (hopefully) in the near future! But, I've hit a wall, and in frustration I just have to vent to someone. With dear husband still at work, I figured a good option would be YOU, my dear readers :)

I'm not super great at techy, computer stuff, and I feel like it takes me forever to learn new programs and such. Unfortunately, this new venture I'm starting requires a lot more in depth knowledge of computers than I realized! Things had been going along pretty well, but today I've come to a halt.

Imagine having a question, about something fairly complicated, and trying to read an article full of technical terms and mumbo jumbo. Imagine trying to decipher all of these new terms and concepts out of this article, and then multiply that article by twenty! Yes, twenty. Meaning that I've read that many (at least!) and still haven't found an answer to my question. In fact, I think my question multiplied into several!

It's enough to make me literally want to scream bloody murder! And maybe pull my hair out too, for good measure.

The funny story is, in an attempt to take a breather and a step back, I thought I'd get out an old knitting project that I haven't worked on since I moved to Idaho. It's been sounding like a lot of fun lately, and with summer drawing nearer to a close, I always get in a cozy, curl-up-and-do-some-knitting, kind of mood.

Well, I got a couple rows in, and realized I had started out wrong, and therefore would have to take out and re-do said rows....

And that, my friends, is how I ended up here. When things get frustrating, I've found a great way to clear my head and calm my nerves is to write about them!

My day hasn't been all bad though. In fact, most of it was great! I woke up to rain and cloudy skies (yay fall-ish weather!) and made a delicious batch of banana bread. Nothing beats the smell of fresh baked, spiced goods, in my opinion. Then my bff came over for a coffee date and we spent all morning and afternoon hanging out. I'm thinking she should have stayed longer, and then I wouldn't have had the chance to spiral into a ball of stress! ;)

What do you know, though? I got to the end of this story, and I'm feeling loads better! The gung-ho side of me wants to jump right back into that stupid technical garbage, but the fact that I'm still referring to it as garbage makes me think it wouldn't be a great idea.

So here I'm off to find something else to settle these nerves with, like maybe a nap!

Happy Hump Day friends!

Crunch Time!

Exercise
You guys, I am unbelievably excited! This week I hopped on my scale, and guess what?

 2.5

That is how many pounds I am away from my goal!

It seems crazy to me that I have successfully eaten healthy and worked out for three and a half months now, and that I have seen such great results! This is the lightest I have been in the last five years, since I gained around thirty pounds after my wedding. 

More than the number on the scale though, I have seen so many other benefits. I love the way my clothes fit now, and I don't feel so self conscious about myself. Some of my pants are even too big now! Plus, I feel so much healthier now. I don't feel sick all the time, and when I'm working out, I feel strong!

This whole process has really given me some perspective. I remember being a teenager and, like most teens, I thought I was fat. Or at least I felt like it sometimes. I didn't think I was as thin as most other girls, and there was always someone I wished I looked like more than myself. Well, I definitely wasn't fat, and I wish I had been more comfortable with my body then!

Right now, I am much more happy with how I look and feel, and I'm about ten pounds heavier than I was in high school! So, I'm glad for the new view I have about my body.

A crappy selfie from two weeks ago

I still have a little work to do, and I would still like to see a little more tone in certain spots, but overall I feel pretty great right now. And who know? The scale may keep going a little. I don't plan on changing my eating habits or workouts once I reach my goal. When I started this, it was with the mind set that this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. I treat myself regularly, but within moderation. Most of the time I try to eat really healthy, and that's something I don't want to change!

Also, on a similarly related note, one reason I wanted to lose weight (besides the whole being healthier thing) was for my vacation!

That's right, this weekend we're headed out of town! It's going to be a work/vacation trip, and I'm so excited! We'll spend some time at the beach, and I'll get to spend several days just relaxing by a pool. It'll be an indoor pool, because we aren't going anywhere tropical, but it's still going to be great!

I will try to be a good blogger, and take lots of pictures to share with you all, and I will still be around because of good-ole wi-fi.

I hope you all have a great weekend as well, and that you all find something fun to do on this last official weekend of spring. Thanks for stopping by!



Scared-y Cat

Blog Every Day


A nice, non-scary bridge


Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of  


There are probably too many things for me to list here, unfortunately. Most of them are just totally irrational, like my fear of bridges and heights. I have never flown, but I know that when I do, I'll be fighting a panic attack! I remember when I was younger, things didn't phase me very much, and I never would have considered myself easily scared. But, the older I have gotten, the more afraid of things I am. 

Mostly though, I've come to realize that my biggest fear seems to just be of fear itself. It's one of my biggest worries, that something will scare me into a panic attack. My logical self knows that most of my fears are unfounded, and that I really have nothing to worry about. It's the losing control and falling into panic that's at the root of most of those fears, because once I do, it takes a while to bounce back. My nerves just totally get shot!

Luckily (and thankfully!) I've been able to mostly control this. I drive and walk over bridges. I know that if I ever get the opportunity to fly somewhere, I'll take it. I don't want to be controlled by my fears, and sometimes facing those fears full on really helps! And knowing that I don't have to be afraid if I don't want to.  I rarely have attacks, and I can go months in between them. 

It's still a struggle (oh stupid anxiety!) but, I always believe that someday I will get past it. I already do so much better, and I know that as time goes on I'll only continue to improve. Eventually I will realize deeper down than just my logical thoughts, that I really have nothing to fear!

Do any of you share this same thought? That your biggest fear is of fear itself?



You Can Quote Me

Blog Every Day


Day 4, Saturday: Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it



"This too shall pass," is one of my favorite quotes of all time. I never used to have a favorite, and honestly I didn't think much of quotes at all. For some reason, they don't tend to really stick around in my mind. 

This quote though, is one that my mother-in-law shared with me when I was having a hard time, and it still resonates with me. We all go through struggles in this life, it's just a part of being human. When I'm going through something hard, and it starts to get me down, I just think of this.

I feel that it's very true. Any bad thing that could happen, any sorrow, anger, or bad day will never last forever. It will always pass, and you will realize when it's done that you were stronger than you thought. 

This has helped me through several trying times, and I know I will continue to use it in the years to come. I hope you enjoy it, and that it helps you in whatever struggles you might be going through! 




It Makes Me Feel Uncomfortable to Write this Post....

Blog Every Day


Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable


A soothing picture, because thing's are about to get a little heavy...


Oh boy. This one is tough. 

You see, there are a lot of things that make me uncomfortable. Probably more things than there should be! The older I get, the more I realize that I hate all things negative.
Now, I'm actually not a super happy, go-lucky person. I tend to complain a lot, and I feel like I could learn to be a lot more content. And I suffer from anxiety. 

It's pretty much the worst, and those of you who experience it too know what I'm talking about. It's a difficult thing to deal with, but I feel like I manage it really well! I try to keep a positive outlook on life, and think on the good things, because that helps so, so much.

As a result, I pretty much try to avoid thinking about all of the terrible things in this world.

* It makes me uncomfortable to watch t.v. I don't watch the news, because it's depressing. If there are terrible things (like bombs, wars, shootings and other crimes) I would rather just not hear any details. I don't look at the headlines on msn, or yahoo, or anything like that, because it just bogs me down!

* It makes me uncomfortable to read online articles. I don't like to read comments sections on just about anything (except most blogs!), because people are just so mean! I know everyone is entitled to their opinion, and not everyone is always going to agree with me, but I hate it when people are rude and forceful in their opinions.

* It makes me uncomfortable to hear/read about politics. Some of my favorite websites are notorious for being extremely liberal. And that's fine, if you're a liberal. But as someone who leans a little more to the conservative side, I hate being made to feel like the bad guy when I read their stuff. Although, I am still a little left wing, and being around hard core conservatives makes me uncomfortable too. Can I just say that I am so, so happy it's not election time! 

I'm sure I could go on and on, but I suppose they are all of a similar theme. 

I would love to get to a place where these things don't bother me as much, and I'm sure that I will eventually. In the meantime, though, I will continue to try to focus on those things that are good, and happy, and light. And to try to keep this blog a space for me to share all of the positive things in my life!




Thanks for reading along on this link-up challenge! I really appreciate it!


Sunday Currently: Volume 12

Currently
Hey, I'm actually wearing real clothes as I write this today!


Gotta love crappy selfies in dirty mirrors! Dress (old) from Romy. Pretty much my favorite store.


|Currently|

Reading  I still haven't started reading Pride and Prejudice yet! I'm being a total slacker on the reading front. Meanwhile, it's due back at the library in just a couple of weeks. I'm not sure that I'm going to make it. 
Writing  I haven't done much for writing lately either. I even skipped my Happies and Crappies link up on Friday! I've been so busy lately that I haven't had a lot of time to devote to writing. And any time that I have had has gone towards playing around with graphics editing. You guys, I think I might have a problem!
Listening  To my washing machine run, and to some Vanessa Carlton on Spotify. I love her song "Carousel," from Rabbits on the Run, and I just set it as my ring tone on my new phone! (Yes, we found a loophole! We were able to get new phones for cheap, while still holding onto our renewal option on our plan! Can I get a "what, what!")
Thinking  That even though I have had a blast working these last few weeks, I'm happy to be getting a little break. I will have a chance to get caught up on some cleaning, play with my puppy some more, and go visit my grandparents! It should be a good week.
Smelling  Nothing at the moment. My house smell I guess? Which, honestly, isn't too great at the moment, ha! I should open up all my windows, because it is absolutely gorgeous outside today!
Wishing  Dinner would make itself. But it won't, so I need to go get it done. I have been planning on making burgers for days now, and it just hasn't happened, so I'm off to do that as soon as this is posted!
Hoping  To hold onto this feeling of peace and contentment that I have today. Sundays tend to be good for me, and I wish I could keep this feeling around all week long! It's something I'm definitely going to work on.
Loving  This fantastic weather we've been having. We had our fair share of rain these last few weeks, but the sun is out and it looks like it's here to stay for a while. Our forecast is showing eighty by Wednesday, and I'm so excited! I may even have to start laying out in my yard, and get my tan on.
Wanting  To eat! I'm hungry, so I need to wrap this up.
Needing  Nothing. Today is a good day, and all I need is to soak it up!
Feeling  Well, to summarize, happy, peaceful, fantastic, and hungry! I guess I should remember to save some of how I'm feeling for this last one, ha!
Clicking  On so many things. One thing I loved from earlier in the week was this post by Kristen at All in my Twenties. I loved her take on the whole SAHM struggle. I also just read this article this morning from Hello Giggles. I thought it was such an interesting topic, especially for me, because I feel like I am kind of in the middle of that whole situation right now. I'm married, but I don't have kids, so where does that put me with my friends who are in different stages of life than me? Good food for thought!

I hope you all have a great week, and of course I'm linking up with Lauren! 


P.S.- What do you all think of the (second) new look?

Happies and Crappies Friday #10

Feeling

The Vintage Modern Wife: Happies and Crappies Link Up


Happies
  1. As much as I miss being with my family in Idaho, it's really nice to be back home! Sometimes it's hard to feel like home is two different places, but I'm happy that I can be happy at both.
  2. I have been working tons this week. I don't think I've had a busier work week since I started at the school! It's been a lot of fun though, and I'm really enjoying it. (plus, it's really nice to hear everyday how appreciated I am, by the students and teachers alike!)
  3. This weekend I will be working on my garden. I'll be planting some hydrangea bushes, and maybe a few other things. Then, Dane and our neighbors are finally going to take care of the eye sore that is our side bed/weed patch next to the driveway! The neighbors have some dogwoods, so they offered to help plant them there as a bit of a privacy barrier. Our yard should be looking fantastic by the end of the weekend! 
  4. I tried out a delicious brownie recipe this week, and by tried, I mean I ate way too many! But I'm justifying it to myself because they were "healthy." They were whole wheat, and made with agave syrup instead of sugar. There was a lot of cocoa powder, so it almost had a flourless cake texture going on. I may share the recipe soon, because they were very good!

Crappies
  1. My house is still a hot mess from my being gone! Being so busy has meant that I've only done the bare minimum. I guess house work will be on the list of things to do this weekend as well.
  2. Time management has really been on my mind lately, mostly because I'm always running late and being late to everything! I didn't use to be this way, and I'm not sure why it started, but this last year or so has been terrible. I've started noticing a direct link between my nerves/anxiety and when I'm frantically rushing because I'm running behind. It happens pretty much everyday, and even thinking about it starts to make me feel stressed! I'm so over it, I'm going to have to figure out a plan to stop. No more running late for this girl!

Happy Friday, and I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! 

In the Now

Feeling












Something that has been on my mind a lot lately (and I mean a lot!) is wanting to be more present. To be more into what is happening in my life today. Not tomorrow. Not next week, or month or ten years from now. To be more focused on the little things, and to enjoy them more. Not to let my happiness hinge on those things in the future, that I'm waiting to happen.

I'm sure a lot of people struggle with this. And it's so hard not too! When you have goals and dreams, which are great things to have, you can put so much focus on those things. But then, what happens to your now? When all of your energy is spent looking to the future? I feel sometimes that time is just flashing by me, and I'm wishing it away, trying to get to somewhere different.

I've been this way as long as I can remember. I know I enjoyed my childhood, don't get me wrong, but the biggest theme that stands out to me is how badly I wanted to grow up. I would constantly day dream about the days when I could make my own decisions, be my own person. I remember when I was ten, I literally started counting down the years until I was grown! And I continued to count down. Until I was a teenager, until I had a boyfriend, until I graduated, until I was married. I was always looking, and wishing myself forward.

Today it's the same story. I'm always thinking, "I'll be happier when I lose that last ten pounds, when I get to go on vacation, when I get to throw this party, when my husband is more successful, when we have more money, when I have a baby, when, when, when..."

The thing is, maybe I won't be happier! Maybe I'll just keep looking to the next thing. Because I'm happy now. I just don't take the time to truly realize it. To be content and thankful for the things I have now. For my everyday experiences. And sometimes, when I'm so caught up in planning and wishing, I raise my expectations too high. There have been several times when I was so intensely focused on how amazing some event or time would be, that I was let down. It wasn't as magical as I had imagined. Then, how much more of a waste was the time that I spent wishing would go faster?






I know I'm not very old, but sometimes it still seems like just yesterday that I was a kid. And that makes me kind of sad. How will I feel in ten or twenty years, if I don't make a change? Like I just wished all my time away, when I should have been enjoying it? That's not what I want, at all.

So, my new goal is to be happier in my now. That's not to say that I won't still make plans, or have dreams, because I will. But I will let them come in their own time, because it will come fast enough. I want to be able to look back at a life filled with small happy moments, and know that I didn't just wish it all away. To be thankful for each day, and to find beauty and happiness in being present. I want to enjoy each season, and not try to rush on to the next, no matter how tired of winter I am, or how much I want fall to come.

We only get so much time, and I want mine to be well spent.

What about you? Do you think about this, and is it something you want to work on as well? Let me know!

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