Week Two Update

:( :( :( :( :(
That pretty much sums up my week two. As you can probably tell, it was not very successful. I think being able to skim by during my first week and still make my goal made me even more lax for the second week. Or at least the second weekend. Today when I weighed in I was at 139.2, about a half pound gain from last week! Which is extremely frustrating.
I know one of my problems is with my budget. During a four week period, we tend to have more extra money at the beginning, and by the end things are getting tight. I have a hard time trying to buy healthy groceries when I am running low on funds, and my instinct is always to try to make what I have at home stretch. This usually means I'm trying to create healthy meals out of staples, like rice, potatoes, baked goods, and breakfast foods like pancakes. None of which are that great. Good for sides, or small portions of meals, but when I am running low on fresh produce then I am kind of screwed.
This week I know I will be struggling with my grocery budget more than last week, so I am going to have to get creative. I know I have a lot of dry beans, so I am planning on making chili, which surprisingly is very diet friendly, or some homemade chicken soup. I need to work out my grocery schedule a little better so I know I will always be able to go and buy fresh produce when I need it.
I did have a couple of accomplishments though, even if the scale didn't show it. We went out for dinner last Friday night for our anniversary, and I had a small flatbread pizza and a dinner salad, which I thought were decent choices, and not overly huge portions like a lot of restaurant fare. I was full but not stuffed, and had I not overdone it with the sugary, high calorie drinks, the night would have been a complete success. Then yesterday I took my dog for a walk/jog. It has been a really long time since I've jogged and I felt really good, so I would like to start doing that a couple of times a week again.
This week my goals are pretty much the same as last week. Work out a little more, and drink more water. I really want to be more diligent this week. I just have to keep picturing the end goal, being thinner, healthier, and fitter than I am right now. Here's hoping for a successful week three!


Today is my four year wedding anniversary to my amazing husband, Dane! It feels in some ways like it was just yesterday we were getting married, and in other ways it feels like I've never been without him. In a good way of course! I feel like I couldn't have been blessed with a better companion to experience this life with. I mean sure, we have our ups and downs, but I'm happy to say that we've had more good times than bad. He works so hard to provide for us. Everything we have, our cars, our home, our pets, our food, we have because of what he does. I try to show him how much I appreciate him, and I hope he knows that. I know that my life is better because he is a part of it!

We started dating when I was 17 years old (almost exactly, our first date was the day after my birthday) and he was 22. He lived in Oregon, and I lived in Idaho, and even though our families knew each other, we didn't really know one another personally. He came on a camping trip with my family and some of our other friends, and that was when the magic started!  We had so much in common, and I was so excited to find that he loved reading almost as much as me! I knew I was in love with him by the end of that week, and that feeling has only grown stronger with time.

Living 500 miles away from each other posed a challenge though, and I missed him like crazy. He would come over about one weekend a month, and other than that we had to get by with late night phone calls and lots of texting! We dated for seven months before we got engaged, and the wedding was another seven months after that. A lot of people said that things wouldn't work between us, because we were young and long distance relationships never work out. Teachers at school thought I was making a mistake, that I couldn't know what I wanted in life because I would be getting married when I was only 18.

Well it's been four years, and I hope we get 60 more together! He really is my best friend, and I can't believe I got so lucky to find him when I was so young. He makes me feel so special, loved, and appreciated. I only hope that I can always do the same for him!

Here's a couple of pictures of us together :)

September 20, 2008

Fall 2011

We usually take an updated photo every fall, so I'll have to share whenever we get around to doing it.

Road Side Treasure

Last Saturday evening, Dane (dear husband) and I were on our way to dinner with his parents when something caught my eye. It was a free armoire on the side of the road! Now one thing about me is that I love big, old, classic furniture. I love anything shabby chic, and I always have a list of d.i.y. projects for my home that I want to get around to. So, needless to say, this find totally made my week!

It will need some new hardware and paint, but I love the detailing on the doors. I haven't decided where exactly I want to put it, but I think I will most likely be keeping it. Maybe if I get good enough at it, I'll start scouting for cheap pieces to re-do and sell, but for now anything I find is something I want to keep!

The new armoire is going to have to be on the bottom of the list for now though, because I still have one that I bought last summer at a yard sale for $10. It has a little bit of a different look on the outside, but they are both very similar on the inside. This one currently houses my mess of scrapbooking and gift wrapping supplies.

One idea I have is to take out the shelves inside of one of them, add a rod, and use it to hang baby clothes! But we'll just have to wait and see if that ever happens. For now though, I'll just focus on picking out colors and re-finishing them as they are. Hopefully I can get them done by the end of the year! Wish me luck!

Week One Update

Yesterday I got on my scale and week one....was a success! I lost 1.4 lbs. which was pretty much my goal, and pretty impressive since I felt like I had totally failed all weekend long. We had a series of get togethers going on Saturday that made it about impossible to "diet," although I could have opted for healthier choices almost every time and I didn't. Once I fall off the wagon so badly it takes me a few days to get back on track, so I was a bit surprised when the scale showed some progress.

Now, I know some people are very anti-scale, but I find mine to be a very useful tool. I can't just judge by how my body is feeling. I can feel slimmer and then step on to see that I've gained two pounds, or I can lose two pounds but feel totally bloated and fat! It's very easy for me to convince myself that if I just "try to eat healthier" and I'm having a good day, that I'm losing weight. When actually I'm gaining! So I like to see clear results and know for sure whether or not I am having any progress. I don't obsess over it or anything like that, I just weigh in once a week to make sure I'm headed in the right direction.

Two things I would like to work on this week are drinking more water, and logging a little more work out time. Last week I did alright as far as exercise I thought, but looking back I think I only walked a couple of times and went to yoga once. I was being a total slacker and I've skipped my last two yoga classes, so my goal is to make sure I go this week. I've also gotten into the bad habit of drinking most of my water at work. Which means that I'm not drinking very much at all! So I'm making myself drink a glass right now as I sit here writing.

I hope that the good results I had from last week will push me through this one too. I know that the more I lose the harder it will be to shed those pounds, so I'm hoping that I can keep the motivation to keep going. I guess I'll find out if I did next week! 

Dog Days

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I got a puppy last April after pestering my dear husband to let me have one for about a year! He is a blue heeler/border collie mix, and he was a cute little thing when he first came to us. Before he even got home we had named him Handsome, and I think it suits him very well. I always get comments on what a pretty dog he is when we go out on our walks. This is what he looked like 5 months ago.

Handsome 3 months

He was a little bit of a fluff ball, and so adorable! Then he grew into a dog and this is what he looks like today.
8 months

Got his stick

What was that?

He loves sticks and his rope, and he loves loves loves to play fetch! He also likes to bark at everything he sees, so much so that one of our neighbors made a complaint to the city. And he also likes to jump the fence into said neighbors yard! So he has been a pain in my backside, to say the least, and has had to be chained up a lot lately. Hopefully that will change soon though, because I just bought an invisible dog fence to supplement our existing real fence, and that should keep him in. I suppose some people would think that shocking my dog to keep him in my yard is cruel, but I think better that than for him to be chained all day, every day! I feel so bad for him, because he hates it so much, but he is a smart dog so I know he'll get the fence thing figured out without too much trouble.

Even though he drives me nuts sometimes (and he drives my husband crazier than me) I still love him and I can't see myself ever willingly getting rid of him. I do enjoy taking him on walks, and he provides a lot of entertainment, especially when he pesters the cats! Plus, he really is just so darn handsome, haha! Maybe someday we'll even get him another doggie friend. Because this is what he has to deal with when he tries to play with the cats.


Back on the Rollercoaster

This week brought about an unpleasant turn of events which means, once again, I am on a diet! That dirty word that (most) all women dread and spend their lives obsessing over. At least mine seems to anyway. I have spent most of the last four years (all of my marriage to date) dealing with weight issues. As a teenager I dealt with most of the problems that a lot of girls do, low self-esteem, constantly picking my body apart, and what not. Then right after high school I got married, moved 500 miles away from most of my friends and family, and packed on 30 lbs. in nine months! I am 5'3" and I stayed pretty consistently between 115-120 lbs. as a teenager, and by the time my one year wedding anniversary rolled around I weighed at least 155 lbs! I say at least because I didn't have regular access to a scale, and I was big enough to know that I didn't want to know how bad it had gotten.

After not having school, and a job, and sports to help keep me trim, and depression keeping me completely unmotivated, I'm really not surprised I gained as much as I did. It was fall of 2009 that I decided to do something about it. I got a gym membership and started following the Weight Watchers program. I lost several pounds very quickly and within a couple of weeks I was down to 143. And that's where I stayed. For another year. I just wasn't very good with the whole dieting thing. Working out I could do. I have always liked to be fit, and sports were always fun. I ran my first 5k that year and it was a blast! But ask me to give up food and I just have to say no.

I am a self realized sugar addict, an emotional eater, a binge-er, and just a general food lover. I have almost no self control! And the problem isn't that I don't like the good stuff, because I do. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, all that healthy food that we're supposed to eat, I do. And I like it. But, I LOVE the bad stuff! Anything with sugar, (white) bread, butter, oil, salt, lots of calories, and lots of flavor, and I just have no self control. If I like it, I eat and eat it until I am completely stuffed.  And as terribly bad as I know it is, and I really do know, McDonald's is one of my favorite fast food places. But, it's not just fast food and over processed packaged stuff, it's homemade baked goods, biscuits, cakes, cookies, cobblers, and any comfort food you can think of. And it's a good thing I just ate breakfast or I would be in my kitchen right now binging! Ha!

In the fall of 2009 my best friend Kayla got engaged, so that meant I wanted to look as good for her wedding as possible. That winter I lost, very slowly, about 13 lbs. It took several months and a lot of struggle but I did it. I felt great and I felt more like my old self, even though I was still heavier and I didn't make my original goal to reach 120-125. But, I was happy with how I looked at the wedding in June of 2011, and I thought that I would be able to maintain it no problem. Then, later down the road, I could hop back on the diet wagon and lose that last five to ten pounds, because really? What's five or ten pounds?

Well, over the last year and a half I have put back on almost all of those 13 lbs. I weighed myself a few days ago and I am back up to 140! Now some people I know would say "Oh brother! 140?? That's nothing, you look fine!" But for me it's not fine. I know I'm not as petite as some, but 5'3" still falls under petite, and at this weight I am walking that line between healthy and overweight for my height. I am not comfortable in my skin at this weight, and I want to be. But mostly I want to reach a healthy weight and maintain it, because all of this yo-yoing these past few years is not good for my body at all. I thought I had it figured out last time, but I guess I didn't, and I now I am dreading the struggle that comes with that ugly four letter word.

Today is day three of my diet, but I'm hoping this time it becomes more of a lifestyle change. I already still use some of the tools and tricks I used to. I use small plates when I eat, I only use stevia in my daily coffee, I order espresso drinks nonfat and half sweet, and I drink water at work instead of soda. I guess now though I have to step it up, and I'm only going to do it for ten weeks. My goal is to lose 15 lbs in those ten weeks, and I'm planning on ending it there whether I am successful or not. I figure if I am really diligent, that should be very doable, and if I fall a little shy of that number, I'll be o.k. with it. The real challenge though will be keeping it off. Apparently it's not as easy as I thought it was, and I will be ending literally days before the holidays begin! But I think I will be able to find that balance, to still have to foods that I love so much, but in moderation so that I don't derail myself.

I know that I have a struggle ahead, but I'm confident I can do it though, because I want to be the healthiest I can be. And hopefully this time it sticks!

Too Long....

I can't believe I let myself go almost a year without posting anything! Having a blog was supposed to give me an outlet for my writing, and hopefully help bring back my passion for it. Obviously that did not happen! Oh well, I suppose the occasional post is better than nothing at all, so I will try to be better about it from here on out.

So much has changed in my life in this past year, some things good and others bad. I lost my brother in January and it was definitely the hardest thing I've ever gone through. But time heals all things and I received a lot of peace with it. Earlier this spring I got a puppy. He is a heeler/border collie mix, his name is Handsome, and he drives me absolutely nuts!  But I sill love him and I know he's only going to get better as he gets older. Most recently I've gotten a job, after almost four years of being just a stay at home wife. I work part time as a hostess at a local restaurant and it isn't much, but I enjoy the business it has brought into my life.

Today I am feeling the pressure though, because today my absolute best friend Kayla is coming to see me for the weekend! I am so excited, and I should be cleaning my house even as I write this. I saw her in June but it already seems like forever, so I can't wait until she gets in! Then tomorrow we are going with a group of girlfriends to see Fun. at the Britt Festival! It is this amazing little outdoor amphitheater that hosts tons of great musical acts all summer long, and this is my third year going. I'm so addicted to it, I don't think I could let a year go by without going at least once! 

Also, somewhat unrelated, I got my hair done yesterday. Who doesn't enjoy doing that? I always wanted to get highlights, since I was just a little pre-teen, so I went for it earlier this summer. Last night I went back to get my roots done, and have my bangs cut. That's another thing I have always wanted and after having them for a while last fall, then growing them out, I've decided I love them too much not to have them! The highlights, however, won't probably be around for more than a couple/few more months though. The (dear) husband prefers me as a brunette, so while the highlights have been fun for the summer, I will be going back dark in the fall.

This is how my life is going this week, and I have a long, busy, fun filled weekend ahead of me! I will try not to let myself slack so much, and hopefully I will have lots of interesting new stuff to post next week! Until next time...

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